i cannot bring myself to make a move. I mean, she doesn't care about me; she only ever talked to me for school-related stuff. What would she want from an asocial, awkward and hopelessly screen-addicted autist? What would anyone want from me? Why would ayone want to have any kind of relationship with me? Even the people i consider my best friends (Not that that is a high bar) i don't really talk to that much. it's mostly, again, school stuff, or me cracking bad jokes. That is enough for me, i don't really care for activities with friends outside of school. But i fear they expect more, far more of me. Is it better to just let these "friendships" fade so these expectations don't exist in the first place? It wouldn't even be that big a difference.
But then there's her. I used to think i was aromantic; I definitely found people attractive and had already found out i was bisexual. I kind of fantasized about relationships with some people i knew, but it never felt serious. Then one day, she came into class as a new student and immediately, i liked her, just based on vibes.